


Forget Me Not

by summerpinksky



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: JaeTen hints, JohnTen hints, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Time Skips, multiple POVs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:55:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23645752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerpinksky/pseuds/summerpinksky
Summary: Jaehyun is still looking at him. Softly, he brings up Ten’s hand and feels the back of it against his cheek. Closing his eyes he lets out a sigh, his breath ghosting over Ten’s skin. A different kind of warmth spreads inside Ten as he watches him.“You found me,” he starts and his tone is endearing. He feels the medicine taking over slowly.Opening his eyes, Jaehyun looks back at him with a gentle smile on his lips. He squeezes his hand in his before speaking, “You were not easy to track.”
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun
Comments: 30
Kudos: 31





	1. Act I, Scene 1: Perierat, et inventus est

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is an old fic of mine from another fandom that i decided to work on again.  
> please note that jaehyun and ten are not necessarily the main romantic relationship in this story.  
> the way this story goes enables me to unravel the relationships slowly as we go along.  
> in that note, additional tags will be added as we go along.
> 
> this is my first nct fanfic.

Ten carefully opens the window and lets the outside air fill his room. Leaning on the ledges, he breathed in the warm, happy scent of spring. With eyes closed, he imagines how the grasses on the garden would feel beneath the soles of his feet. The caretakers would have cut down the overgrown greens and the flowers will be blossoming anytime now. He can already see behind his eyes the beautiful variety of colors of the flowers in the garden. 

Today is not one of his good days but the thought of spring and the fact that he is still here and able to witness it makes him feel better and stronger. 

His blood is buzzing with joyful energy when a knock on the door came. 

“Yes,” he says and turns towards the door.

The knob turns and the door opens, only to reveal someone he totally did not expect. 

All at once, he feels as if all the air in the room is sucked away. His raging heartbeat rings loudly behind his ears and he feels his knees weaken that it’s a wonder he’s still standing at all.

“Hello, Ten.” The visitor greets. 

Ten smiles at him but his hands are trembling from where he’s hiding them behind his back. 

“Jaehyun,” he greets in reply, the name tasting like acid and wine in his tongue. 

A pregnant silence descends upon them, replacing all the spring air in the room.

Jaehyun looks back at him but he stays right where he’s standing when he entered the room. He makes no other move aside from closing the door behind him.

A part of Ten is relieved because despite the smile on his face his mind is at odds. He doesn’t know how to deal with the situation at hand. And it seems like Jaehyun doesn’t either. 

But a part of him, the bigger part of him, aches to touch. Ten wants to feel Jaehyun against him. It had been so long since he’d have someone close to him. But he’s way too fragile now, made thin by all the medicine running through his veins that he is more afraid he’d see him crumble at his touch. 

So Ten opts to just look at him, to really look at him. It’s been years since the last time they saw each other. He still has that cold look on his face that gets mistaken as being arrogant and forbidding by most people but little did they know that it was just a façade. He knows no one else who was as warm as Jaehyun. 

It must’ve been a really long time because now he can feel and see the air of maturity that wasn’t there before. 

Suddenly, he sees Jaehyun’s eyes are drawn to the pile of books and magazines on the small table at the end of the bed. Ten tries not to flinch realizing what Jaehyun is looking at. But before he can try to get his attention back there’s another knock on the door.

Ten instinctively looks at the clock on the wall across his bed. It is time for his medicine. A petite nurse enters carrying a tray of medicine and smiling at him.

“The doctor said you’d have a visitor but it’s time for your medicine now.” 

“I understand,” smiling at his favorite nurse as he makes his way back to the bed, decidedly not sparing Jaehyun another glance. He’s grateful that his knees did not give up on him as he crosses the small distance between the window and the bed.

Lying down, Ten sees Jaehyun moving to the wall in the corner. He cannot clearly see it but he can feel his eyes on him. Ten tries to breathe properly, conditioning himself to relax. Jaehyun is here, he found him. There are no more reasons to hide now.

The nurse sets up the tourniquet on his right arm and proceeded to inject the medicine. He cannot help wincing a little as he feels the medicine enter his bloodstream through the tiny vein on his arm. 

In a flash, Jaehyun is by his bedside gently reaching for his left hand and securing it between both of his.

He smiles gratefully at him. 

The nurse takes off the tourniquet and efficiently puts all her medical kit back to the tray. Gently patting Ten’s hair, she bows down to both of them and left the room. 

Jaehyun is still looking at him. Softly, he brings up Ten’s hand and feels the back of it against his cheek. Closing his eyes he lets out a sigh, his breath ghosting over Ten’s skin. A different kind of warmth spreads inside Ten as he watches him. 

“You found me,” he starts and his tone is endearing. He feels the medicine taking over slowly. 

Opening his eyes, Jaehyun looks back at him with a gentle smile on his lips. He squeezes his hand in his before speaking, “You were not easy to track.” 

“I always knew you’d find me,” he returns his smile, “that you’d be the one to find me.” The medicine is making him feel drunk and sleepy but he knows that what he said is not untrue. 

At the back of his mind, Ten kind of always knew that it was Jaehyun who will come looking for him. 

“That’s why you’ve always been my favorite,” he adds in a sleepy voice, eyes closing and his breath evening out.


	2. Act 1, Scene 2: The Young Emperor

A lone figure stands silently watching the city through the glass walls of his vast office space, the rays of the fading sun silhouetting his form accentuating his almost ethereal features, piano music playing in the background.

Jung Jaehyun is the epitome of a young emperor.

The young man is the president of one of the biggest trading business corporations in the whole Korean Peninsula. Respected by his colleagues and subordinates, and greatly feared by his adversaries. In a short period of years, he has made a name for himself in the dog-eat-dog world of commerce.

Everyone is fascinated by this young president. Not only because of his exceptional looks and elusive lifestyle but more so because seven years ago he was merely a nobody.

Unlike most of the businessmen his age who enters the corporate world, Jaehyun did not come from old money. He had worked his way through the ladder. Some call it pure luck, a miracle even; others refer to it as the product of extreme hard work and perseverance. But no one really knows how this nobody built his company and made it into one of the most successful trading corporations in the whole of Asia in a short span of time.

The people who get the honor of meeting this young elusive president on functions and events he decides to attend would always ask him the secret behind his success.

“Ambition,” he’d tell them.

These people would nod their heads as if they understand what he means. But none of them really do.

Anyone who has known Jaehyun in his much younger years would all say that they never would’ve expected him to be in the corporate world.

He grew up in a family of musicians. His father was a saxophone player in a jazz band, his mother a singer. Despite their meager income from the band, their two daughters and only son, all finished their education in the most prominent music and arts school in South Korea.

Jaehyun was on his way to becoming a famous pianist-composer in his country when he decided to stop and started studying business instead.

None of his family members know why their youngest suddenly changed his mind. They’d asked him too, but he answered them the same—ambition.

What he will never tell them is the real reason.

There is a boy.

A boy named Ten Lee.

*

It was the last year of middle school when their fates intersected.

The whole of Hanlim Arts and Music School was buzzing over the news of new students from America. Jaehyun, like everyone else, was curious about the new students but he was preoccupied at the moment with the upcoming piano competition. He had his priorities set; his curiosity can wait until the end of the competition.

The music room is devoid of anyone by the time the last bell rang, and Jaehyun hurriedly makes his way to the baby grand. His piano at home is an electronic one, the only thing his parents can afford for him, and it doesn’t sound as good as the real one. His father sometimes lets him practice at the bar before they open, but he won’t be given enough time to really be satisfied. So he opted to practice in the music room after classes are over for the day.

He sets up his music sheets and opens the piano lid. Running his fingers through the black and white ivory, he can already feel his blood buzzing from excitement; can already feel the music flowing through his veins. Closing his eyes he starts a piece he’s been working on for months.

Jaehyun was so lost in the music that the sound of fallen cymbals on the floor made him shot up on his seat in surprise. He turns to the source of the sound. There was a boy picking up the fallen cymbals and replacing them on their spot. When he straightens up he met his eyes and profusely apologizes.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was velvety and beautiful, skimming through Jaehyun’s skin like silk. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I was just walking through the hallways when I heard your music and got lured in here. I just wanted to listen.”

_Your music_ , the words echoed around his head. Nobody has ever referred to it as _his music_ like that before. It made Jaehyun’s 15-year old heart skip a beat.

Suddenly, it was as if his tongue got stuck in the roof of his mouth because no words are coming out. Everything blurred in the background, all his being focus on this beautiful stranger in front of him. His side swept black hair is accentuating his honey skin, almost catlike eyes, and smiling lips. With the fading sunset haloing behind him, he look all kinds of surreal.

Time has seemed to stop for the young pianist.

“I…” the young man starts to say before another voice from the door of the music room interrupts.

“Ten, we need to go.”

The boy whose name is apparently Ten turned towards the sound of the voice, “I found him, Youngho!” His voice was high-pitched like a child’s on a Christmas day, full of delight and wonder.

“I see that,” the owner of the voice answers plainly, “but we need to go.”

Jaehyun could not clearly see the face of this Youngho because he was too busy looking at Ten’s back, but he already hates him by the tone of voice he uses on him.

The other boy seemed to have walked away because Ten hurriedly faces Jaehyun again and bowed in apology before running after him.

He stays rooted in his place long after his footsteps had died down on the hallway and the sun has completely set. As if in a trance, Jaehyun sits back on the piano bench and looks down at his hands. The hands that created a melody that entranced such a beautiful being.

His mind had gone haywire from his encounter with Ten that he doesn’t think he can focus on practicing at the moment, so he decided to just call it a day. Slowly he closes down the piano lid and gathered his music sheets.

Years down the road, Jaehyun will look back at this moment a lot of times. He believes that that afternoon encounter in the music room is the defining moment — the moment he met the boy that will change the course of his life.

*

“That’s why you’ve always been my favorite.” He hears him say.

It made him smile because he knows the truth. The pile of books and magazines at the end of his bed would beg to differ his statement. But Ten had always been indulgent.

He watches his eyes close slowly, his hand in his slowly limping as he falls into a deep slumber. Dr. Na has said that Ten is given medicine to sleep because his condition gives him fitful nights that he barely gets any. And these restless nights cause his immune system to slowly deteriorate.

Ten looks the same albeit a bit thinner than the last time he’s seen him from years ago. But there’s something about him now that makes him feel like a stranger to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun can barely recognize his soul.

His eyes had lost their sparkle. His smiles looked uncomfortable, almost forced. He reaches out to move a few stray hairs away from Ten’s face. A lot of questions are bubbling up inside him: Why did you leave? Why didn’t you say anything? _Why?_

_What happened to you?_

He thought that they’d all be answered when he finds him again. But seeing him now, he only has more questions and no answers.

Slowly, he takes Ten’s hand from his and fixes his blankets before standing up. He may not have any answers but he now knows what he should do. Once again, he takes a look at the end of his bed, at the piles of books and magazines. He leans down and kisses him in the forehead, whispering gently into his ears, “I will find him. I’ll find him and get him here. I promise.”

*

He quickly dials the familiar number of his personally hired detective, the one who found Ten, once he got out of the hospital.

His call went through after three rings.

“Taeil, I need you to find someone for me again,” he says in lieu of a greeting.

“Of course,” the man named Taeil answers from the other line.

“His name is Seo Youngho.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to leave comments and kudos  
> and we'll meet youngho soon
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/summerpinksky)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/summerpinksky)


	3. Act 1, Scene 3: A Shared Cigarette

Moon Taeil stands in front of NEO Trading Corporation, an imposing high rise building in the heart of Seoul’s business district. The topmost floor is the company president’s office and his destination. With a small manila envelope in hand, he enters the building and rides the only elevator that goes up to the 20th floor.

Normally, the president does not entertain anyone inside his office. Any business appointments and meetings are done on the 19th floor where the conference rooms are. His office is basically off-limits.

Taeil is the only exception to this rule.

Ever since five years ago when he first met Jaehyun and was given the task to find a certain Ten Lee, he’s been given access to the restricted place.

The office is one of the finest places Taeil has seen. It is a wide-open space of black, white, and gray. The president’s table is backdropped by the gorgeous city skyline of Seoul. Only one side of the wall is not glass, and in it is a built-in shelf filled with books and vinyl records. There’s an LP player on the far corner of the said wall. One time, Taeil came and Jaehyun was listening to a record and the room had the most amazing acoustics.

In a way, the office had become the president’s own version of haven. And every single time he enters this place, Taeil felt like intruding into his personal space.

The elevator dings signaling that he’s arrived at the floor. He walks through the small lobby leading to the main office, his shoes clicking on the granite floors.

Once he enters the main office, Taeil heads to stand directly in front of the table. “Mr. President,” he bows in greeting.

Jaehyun closes his laptop and turns his attention to the detective, nodding his head in acknowledgment.

“I wasn’t sure if the Seo Youngho you meant was the same as the Seo Heir until I saw his connection with Mr. Lee.” Taeil starts to say, putting down the manila envelope in front of Jaehyun.

The president opens the manila envelope as Taeil continued, “He now owns and manages 85% of the Seo’s chain of restaurants. But he’s also started a line of bars and coffee shops under his own name.” He points to one of the photos. It’s a dimly lit photo of what looked like a club with a neon sign that says SHELTER. “According to what I’ve gathered, this is where he usually stays and manages everything, his own headquarter of sorts. It’s a music lounge, the only one in his many establishments.”

The young detective noted how Jaehyun stiffened. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the photo or because of what he said. But the president grew quieter.

Taeil can sense that it is almost time that he leaves, so he reaches for a picture in his jacket pocket and carefully lays it down on top of all the other pictures in front of Jaehyun.

He doesn’t say anything because when it comes to this particular case they had a silent agreement that Taeil doesn’t say anything unless Jaehyun asks any questions.

The young president doesn’t utter a single word but his eyes stay glued to _the_ picture.

After a while, Taeil decided it was time. “I’ll take my leave then.”

“I’ll wire your payment immediately,” Jaehyun replies, still looking at that one picture.

Taeil bowed and turned to leave.

*

“Hi, my name is Ten.” The boy from the music room greeted Jaehyun the next day at the cafeteria. He was busy trying not to look lost while eyeing for an empty table when the boy called him over to their table.

There was another guy beside him that Jaehyun concluded was the other guy from that afternoon.

“And this is Johnny,” he says, introducing the guy beside him. He distinctly remembers that he called him Youngho yesterday but Jaehyun just lets it pass.

“Jaehyun,” he replies as he settles down on the seat across them.

Johnny was frowning and not looking at him at all. Ten looks beside him and nudges with a silent ‘come on’ look. Johnny looks back at him with a ‘what’ expression.

Immediately, Jaehyun feels out of place.

It was as if he was witnessing something private, something he isn’t supposed to see. He almost regrets sitting down with them.

But there’s also a swell of want that blooms in his stomach at the sight.

He suddenly wants to be a part of whatever world Ten and Johnny belong to.

Jaehyun knows how absurd a thought it was but it was a realization he did not anticipate himself. He’s never been the type to feel like he needed other people, to be a part of anything other than the one he chooses to participate in.

Yet looking at the both of them, how they can somehow communicate without talking and how in-sync they seem to be, the swell of want grows.

He longs for something like the way they look at each other.

“Do we have to?” Johnny whines like a petulant kid looking at Ten.

“Don’t be an asshole,” the other replied rolling his eyes at his childishness.

Johnny turned to look at Jaehyun then as if he’s assessing him if he’s worthy of their company or not.

“Rachmaninoff or Liszt,” Johnny starts, face blank.

Jaehyun can’t help but scoff, “That’s like choosing between rum and vodka. Why choose when I can handle both.”

A smile breaks in Johnny’s face, honest and amused.

The want in Jaehyun takes root.

*

On Friday night, Jaehyun finds himself parking across the music lounge SHELTER. The place is very modest unlike all of the other Seo establishments, but it had the perfect atmosphere for anyone who enjoys music.

The front door opens and a tall young man in a white shirt and fitted black jeans steps out.

Jaehyun’s heart got stuck in his throat.

Johnny Seo looks nothing like the boy he knew from seven years ago. He looks fit with muscles growing in just the right places, and his hair is longer and messier, some stray covering his eyes.

To the untrained eyes, he looks every bit the dashing heir that he is despite his outfit choices. But Jaehyun knows him. He can see a certain kind of melancholy that surrounds him. A shadow that Jaehyun is all too familiar with.

He gets out of his car and crosses the street.

Johnny is leaning against the brick wall on the small alley beside SHELTER. There’s a cigarette hanging on his mouth while he’s trying to make his lighter work but with no luck.

Instinctively, Jaehyun reaches for his own in his pocket. Without warning he stands in front of the other guy, lighting up and offering it to him. Johnny looks up and if he is taken aback by Jaehyun’s sudden appearance it didn’t show.

Casually, he leans into the offered fire and takes a drag on his cancer stick. The flame catches.

Jaehyun replaces his lighter on his pockets and moves to lean on the brick wall beside Johnny.

“So you finally decided to fucking show up,” Johnny starts after his third drag.

“You’re right, ‘SHELTER’ does sounds like a tacky name,” is all Jaehyun replies.

And suddenly Jaehyun is back to years ago when they were 18 and lying down on the rooftop of the Seo Mansion, sharing a cigarette while stargazing. Making up dreams like how one day they’ll create a place where musicians like them can enjoy music to their hearts' content. Jaehyun said it was going to be their ‘home’ and so they should call it ‘shelter’. Johnny had laughed then and told him it was tacky.

The memory stings like a motherfucker.

Johnny takes another drag and then offers the cig to Jaehyun. He takes it between his fingers, the act heavy with meaning. Slowly, he takes it to his mouth and inhales a lungful. The nicotine clings to every part of him, filling in all the empty crevices of his being.

It tastes like coming home.

His eyes water but he blames it on the smoke as he gives back the stick to Johnny.

And just like that, they’ve stopped being strangers. In the silence, they shared another cigarette before Jaehyun finally remembers the reason why he came in the first place.

Johnny is throwing away the stick when he decides to break it to him.

“I found him,” he says simply.

He feels Johnny straighten up and turns to look at him, his eyes a storm of emotions—unbelieving but hopeful.

“I really found him,” he repeats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no, this is not a johnten romantic story.
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/summerpinksky)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/summerpinksky)


	4. Act 1, Scene 4: By the Shelter

The afternoon was dreary. Even the chatter of his favorite teacher cannot keep Jaehyun from daydreaming in his seat. So when the bell rings for the next class, he decided to skip it and head to his favorite place in the school.

The rooftop door creaks under its weight when he pushes it open.

Before he can close it back he notices two things. First, is the gust of wind hitting him right in the cheeks and instantly making him feel better. Second, is that apparently he’s not the only one who thought about skipping classes as another student is lying on the rooftop floor and smoking.

His brows furrowed at the sight because that’s worth two violations of school rules.

The said student sits up then and looks at who is interrupting his sweet solace, and that’s when Jaehyun locks eyes with Johnny.

Jaehyun tries not to flee.

While it is true that the three of them—Jaehyun, Ten, and Johnny—have been hanging out ever since the cafeteria episode, there is still awkwardness between the two of them that they can’t seem to overcome.

Even now, he can feel Johnny regarding him from where he’s sitting on the rooftop floor.

Jaehyun’s first instinct is to get the hell out of there and pretend this never happened. The second is to get it over with.

He takes a deep breath and decides to slump beside Johnny on the floor, the rooftop door banging close behind him like an ominous sign. Meanwhile, Johnny continues to regard him quietly before taking another drag from his cigarette then offers it to him.

“You’re fifteen,” Jaehyun blurts out because his brain to mouth filter doesn’t work when he’s nervous, but accepts the offered stick anyway.

“And so are you,” Johnny replies smirking at him as he expertly sucks on the cancer stick. “I figured you’d do cigarettes too since you’ve already talked about handling your alcohol well on our first meeting.”

Jaehyun can’t help but smile and takes another drag before giving it back.

“Tell me about it,” Johnny urges as he gets his share of the nicotine.

“My parents are in a band and they have been playing at this famous bar in our town for years. My siblings and I all grew up in that bar. It’s practically our second home and the patrons all felt like family. I haven’t had my first official drink in front of my parents yet but the old bartender has been giving me shots since I was thirteen.”

An amused smile crosses Johnny’s lips before, “Well, how that goes for your liver?”

A laugh bubbles up inside Jaehyun that escapes through his lips, a peal of melodic laughter that had Johnny joining in, and just like that the tension between them disperses. Johnny takes the last drag and flicks the butt into the nearby trashcan. They settled again in the silence, now more comfortable, before Johnny starts talking again.

“You like him, don’t you?”

Jaehyun unconsciously scrunches his nose while he contemplates denying the whole thing. He can always pretend as if he doesn’t know who Johnny is talking about but that involves risking this whole new friendship Johnny is offering.

“Everyone does,” he replies. It’s not necessarily a confession but it also isn’t a lie. He has seen Ten attracting attention from everybody and not only because he’s a new student because Johnny has remained in the background pretty much since arriving. It’s just him—there is something about him that makes people look and get curious about. Sometimes he thinks it’s because although everyone knows him, Ten has remained untouchable.

Johnny nods in acquiescence.

An afterthought flashes through Jaehyun, a curbed curiosity rising to the surface. Curiosity killed the cat and he can already feel his death flashing before his eyes but the feeling settling in his stomach continues to crave satisfaction.

He straightens his back and asks in what he wishes is a neutral voice, “Don’t you?”

A mirthless laugh from Johnny echoes through the distance between them, confusing the heck out of Jaehyun before he answers plainly. “I can’t.”

And because Jaehyun is a persistent ass the words spill out before he can stop himself, “Why not?”

Johnny stares out into the distance, features turning liquid—readable but guarded—a loneliness that baffles Jaehyun.

But it was his words that confused him more.

“Because I am my mother’s son.”

*

Johnny stares at the ceiling of his office in SHELTER, head tilted against the back of the couch. The lights dance in the periphery of his vision. He thinks he might be drunk. He wishes he is. But the whiskey is taking its sweet time in sending him into oblivion.

He closes his eyes as the words float around him accompanied by all the memories of Ten he has long hidden in the back burner. Suddenly, every look in his eyes, all the words he said, all the gestures, made sense.

He opens his eyes again and straightens up. Jaehyun is standing by the huge glass walls overlooking the stage. His friend is also nursing a drink but he knows he’s not drunk yet too, Jaehyun has a killer tolerance. He briefly wonders if that is a blessing or a curse. Especially knowing that he’s carrying the burden of knowledge and the responsibility to make things right.

“How do you like it?”

Jaehyun turns around to him with a small smile, “It’s perfect.”

Johnny gets up from the couch and stands beside him on the glass walls. He doesn’t say it but having Jaehyun here beside him and looking at the stage together is what makes it perfect for him. This is their dream. A dream they both had for themselves, something not related to Ten at all.

And for years since its conception, SHELTER had felt empty and meaningless. As if something significant is missing. He only realizes what the missing piece is with Jaehyun here with him.

Something warm and painful spreads in his chest because he knows how much Jaehyun had given up so he can go about finding Ten. It was selfish but when he left Johnny had struggled to move on, and so he chose to bury it all and pretended none of it is a part of him. He took up his place as the heir to the Seo Empire, worked his ass off day and night, and tried to forget the last seven years. SHELTER is the only sliver of his past that he refuses to let go.

Now that he thinks about it, probably unconsciously he was trying to live the dream that Jaehyun gave up.

He sees Jaehyun flex his fingers around his glass of rum and he’s afraid to ask if he still plays the piano. Johnny is scared of what his answer might be.

“Thank you,” Jaehyun says, barely audible yet Johnny still heard him loud and clear.

He doesn’t say anything back but the sting spreads in him like wildfire that he has to blink back his apology.

*

The sound of his shoes against the hospital floor grates against Johnny’s nerves, making him want to jump out of his skin. Black dots swim in his vision; he stops walking to lean against the wall to breathe. The smell of the hospital makes him want to choke on air but he continues to breathe until his heartbeats even out.

He needs to calm the fuck down.

Jaehyun gently squeezes him on the shoulder but doesn’t say anything. He’s just patiently waiting until Johnny gathers his wits back.

He straightens and takes a deep breath. It might not look like it now in this hospital hallway, but Johnny is still the Seo Heir and he’s been trained to deal with situations that will terrify the hell out of him with a straight face. And Johnny is beyond terrified right now. He is more than glad for Jaehyun’s presence because he isn’t sure he can deal with this alone.

Ten had always been the one weakness he never got the chance to overcome.

“It’s here,” Jaehyun’s voice cuts through his mental tirade. They are standing outside one of the many hospital rooms with Ten’s name pasted on the door.

Jaehyun waits for him to make a move. He takes another deep breath before knocking on the door. He didn’t wait for a response though, scared that he might back out at the last minute, so he turns the knob and pushes the door open.

He sees him standing by the window obviously unaware of their presence as he continues to just stare outside. He takes a few steps towards him, grateful that he’s still standing despite the want to break down and cry, because finally after seven years he is seeing him again in the flesh. He is still so beautiful especially haloed by the golden sun rays shining through the window.

Ten.

_His Tennie._

“Tennie,” the name tastes like apologies and longing in his mouth, and he wants to roll it over and over his tongue until his voice runs out. “Tennie,” he calls for the second time, knocking Ten out of his trance.

The air is still as both of them stand there unmoving and stares at each other before Ten calls out his name, “Youngho…”

Immediately Johnny is there, wrapping strong arms around his Tennie in a tender embrace. He feels Ten’s arms come up to wrap around his shoulders; feels him bury his face in his neck while calling out his name. Johnny tightens his hold on him.

As their names—Youngho and Tennie—intermingle in the space between them, Johnny realizes that he can breathe better now.

*

Jaehyun quietly watches the scene before him unfolding. He’s back on that cafeteria again, a stranger from the outside looking in, as the world dissolves once again to just Johnny and Ten. But he is a different person now from that fifteen-year-old boy who wanted to be a part of this something.

A new feeling settles in his bones as he watches both his friends throw away the distance and time between them. It is painful—but a different kind of painful, because now he has seen both sides of the coin.

Jaehyun knows that no one will ever love Ten like how Johnny does. That is why it ruined him when he left without a word seven years ago. And that is why Jaehyun will never have the heart to blame Johnny for how he chooses to heal.

Instead, Jaehyun hurts for him.

Because at the end of the day the truth remains—that Johnny is Ten’s brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so one cat's out of the bag now  
> thoughts? 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/summerpinksky)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/summerpinksky)


	5. Act 1, Scene 5: The Heir

The Seo mansion is an impressive old house. It is one of the many legacies passed on from one generation to the next in the Seo family.

Johnny stands in one of the expansive living rooms surrounded by a heavy silence. He looks around the house he is supposed to call home. Ghosts of memories linger in its walls and corners. The late afternoon sunlight filtering in through the windows makes everything look hazy and nostalgic. He stares at the family photo still sitting above the fireplace.

The weight of the moment makes him weak-kneed. He falls heavily on one of the single chairs as he runs his hands on his hair. Flood of memories starts pouring and he tries not to drown in them.

His training kicks in though. He can almost hear the voice of his grandmother telling him, “The Seo heir does not breakdown. Not even in the house where the help can see. We do not show people any weakness in any way.” Almost automatically he sits up as if his world is not shaking underneath him.

A voice breaks through his inner conflict, “Young Master.” It was Min Kyung, one of the eldest help in the family household. “Will you be having dinner in the mansion tonight?”

“I’m afraid I will not be staying for long tonight, Ahjumma.”

The help nods, “Is there anything you will need?”

Johnny thinks about Jaehyun’s call that morning and his promise of bringing him to see Ten the next day. “I need you to clean Ten’s room.”

Min Kyung startles, “The second young master’s room?”

He cannot blame the woman for reacting this way for he has not allowed anyone near the room for years. Johnny kept all of his memories of Ten inside that room and he was afraid that cleaning it will forever erase the boy in his life. But now, he realizes that there is no need for that anymore.

“Yes,” he replies simply before standing up and heads out of the mansion.

*

Seven years old Johnny runs into the big house, backpack promptly forgotten in the stairways. The maître d' said his mother is back from her trip to China. He almost wanted to get out in the middle of his piano lessons to run back home. But the Seo heir does not miss his classes, and most certainly do not run out in the middle of his class. And so he agonizingly waited until the teacher dismisses him.

He’s catching his breath as he straightens his shirt and knocks twice on the door to his mother’s study before opening it. He expected her to be waiting for him too, for surely his mother had missed him.

What he did not expect is this.

His mother’s back is on him as she smiles at another child, a boy almost about his age. Johnny cannot help the look of betrayal that he felt.

The little boy who was smiling at his mother looks up and sees him first. He points at him, making his mother turn to look at Johnny standing by the doorway.

“Johnny,” his mother calls out to him smiling. “Come here, honey. Come meet your new brother.”

*

Johnny hates him.

He hates the way he gets all the attention he has to work hard to have. Hates how he has to share his mother. Hates how his father adores him because his own don’t care so much for him.

They sit around the dinner table; his mother to his left, his stepfather to his right, and his stepbrother across him. All of them are talking and laughing around him while he remains quiet in his seat.

As young as he is, there is only one thing that Johnny ever truly desires, and that is to be wanted. Not because he is the son they needed to be the heir to the business empire, but because he is their son. He thinks that that should have been enough reason to be loved by his parents. Instead, he had to work hard to please them, to make them satisfied with him. To make them believe that he is worthy of their time and attention.

Johnny is used to being alone but sitting at the dinner table, with his mother laughing at something his stepbrother said while her new husband praises his son, is the first time he has ever felt this lonely.

The sound of the chair scraping against the floor halts the conversation as Johnny stands from his seat with his head bowed down. He can feel every eye turn on him as he asks to leave the table. His mother does not even stop him as he left without another word.

He can hear the conversation resume in the dinner table as soon as his back is on them. And he hates that he cares enough to want to cry about it.

Johnny locks himself in his room surrounded only by darkness and the faint sounds of conversation and laughter from the dining room. He sits by the foot of his bed, hugging his knees to his chest. The realization that he is not wanted anywhere hits him like thunderstruck. And the young boy cries and cries and cries; his heart constricting painfully and his breath coming in chokes of air.

When the night finally blankets the household in silence, Johnny wipes his tears and promises himself that he will never ever cry about this again.

*

It was one of those nights where he refused to eat at the dinner table by saying that he had dinner at the mansion after his lessons. He lies in his bed while clutching his stomach as he waits for the household to sleep.

When silence descends upon the house and he was sure that everyone had gone to sleep, Johnny slowly rises up from his bed and walks slowly towards the door. His stomach grumbles as he imagines scouring the food in the pantry.

He is taken by surprise though when he opens his door and sees his stepbrother standing there with a hand poised to knock. Before he can say anything, the little boy shushes him and thrusts a handful of nutrition bars and chocolates into his chest.

Johnny is befuddled.

“Food for Gege,” he says in broken Korean.

He scowls at him in return. He doesn’t need his help, and he most certainly doesn’t need his concern. He has no right to come to him in the dead of the night offering him food and acting as if he cares. He was the one who stole his mother from him. No amount of food can make that okay.

He is about to shove back the offered food when his stomach grumbles.

“Gege hungry. Gege eat.” The young boy says in a whisper before turning on his heels and heads back to his room.

Johnny looks at the food in his hands and thinks that he hates it. Hates that the gesture made his heart feel a little better.

*

Ten is lying down on the grass with eyes closed and a smile on his lips, while Johnny is sitting beside him. It has been a week since they have been reunited and there wasn’t a day that Johnny did not come to visit. Today is one of his ‘good days’, as he likes to refer to it, and so Johnny relents when Ten convinced him to lounge in the gardens.

They’re both soaking in the sunshine and the fresh air.

“Youngho,” he calls him in a soft voice that makes Johnny smile.

“Hmm?” but he doesn’t look back to him and just continues to stare into the distance.

“Youngho, let’s go home.”

He looks at him then clearly surprised, “Home?”

Ten nods. He must have looked as confused as he feels while trying to process what he is saying.

“Home,” he smiles at him. “The mansion. I want to go home to the mansion.”

The words settled inside him like a balm to an open wound, melting away the ice he has wrapped in his veins. And then he finally smiles.

“Okay. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is one of my favorite chapters to write
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/summerpinksky)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/summerpinksky)


	6. Act 1, Scene 6: The Painting above the Fireplace

Johnny knocks once before turning the knob on the door. Silently, he enters his mother’s study. She has been busy the last few days though he cannot really blame her. It is two days before the wedding, and five days before the whole family leaves for America.

Being only ten years old, Johnny knows that his voice does not count in the decision making regarding this family’s future. But having been through his training under Grandmother Seo, he knows exactly where his voice counts.

“Honey, do you need anything?” his mother calls but it is clear to him how much she finds his presence at this moment a nuisance. She has wedding preparations to do which are definitely much more important than anything a ten-year-old can want.

But instead of getting disappointed, he stands straight in front of his mother’s desk like how he was taught during his lessons. His face is a mask, the poker face, as his Grandmother Seo likes to refer to it. She said that it is what every business person should learn to do especially when dealing with people.

When he speaks, he made his voice clear, and his tone final. “I’m not going to change my last name.”

His mother regards him from where she is sitting on her table. “Johnny, honey,” her voice is patient and almost pleading, “changing your last name will not change the fact that you are an heir to the Seos. It will only mean that you are part of this family, too.”

But Johnny only straightens his back, his gaze unfaltering as he repeats himself, “I’m not going to change my last name.”

“This is our family now, Johnny. Did your grandmother put you up to this?” His mother’s voice is starting to sound annoyed.

“I can decide for myself regarding this,” he answers her and sounding more mature than his age. “And I have decided to keep my name, Seo Youngho.”

With that, he turns around and goes out of the study leaving his frustrated mother to herself.

What he does not tell his mother though is the real reason why he is keeping his name.

What he does not tell her is that by keeping his last name he also gets to keep believing that it is okay to feel like this for his stepbrother.

*

Jaehyun is not someone who is easily impressed with wealth. He may not have come from a rich background but he has seen different kinds of wealth and how it both builds and destroys a person.

So standing in the foyer of the Seo Mansion is not something of a shock to the young pianist.

His first impression is that it is an impressive structure but it makes Jaehyun briefly wonder if Johnny ever feels like a stranger to his own house. It strangely lacks the warmth to ever be considered a home. There are too many doors, rooms, and corners that seem to hold secrets of their own; although he cannot help but admire the beautiful garden surrounding the whole mansion.

Johnny points him towards the living room and tells him to wait for him there. The room is as impressive as the whole house. There are artworks that he is pretty sure cost a fortune, and the set of furniture is clearly expensive and of high quality. But what gets his attention though is the painting above the fireplace.

His jaws open at the sight.

“He isn’t here yet,” he hears Johnny say as he enters the room. But he can hardly make sense of what it is he is talking about as he continues to stare wide-eyed at the painting.

“Oh,” is the only thing that comes out of his mouth as he recalls Johnny’s words on that day in the rooftop.

_Because I am my mother’s son._

He slowly turns to his friend as it finally clicks. “You are siblings,” he says. His voice is both in awe and in disbelief at this new-found knowledge that the words come out more like a question than a statement.

Johnny moves to stand beside him and stares at the said painting. When he speaks next, Jaehyun notes how it sounds almost emotionless. “We are.”

Jaehyun scrunches his nose unconsciously as he tries to figure out how this can happen. But Johnny continues before he can start with his questions.

“My mother married Ten’s father.”

Jaehyun is suddenly afraid to ask any questions with Johnny’s clip tone but his inner curiosity is once again raging. And he doubts there will be any better time to have answers than now.

“How about your father?”

Johnny grunts a little before answering, but he answers nonetheless. “He is somewhere in Seoul, and most probably with a new woman.”

“And Ten’s mother?” he says before he can stop himself.

“She died when Ten was just a baby, so he does not have that much memories of her.”

Jaehyun tries to imagine what was worse: no longer having a mother at such a young age, or having a living father who does not really care for you.

“Are your parents here?” he asks, staring once again at the painting. It is a beautiful family portrait. And he thinks that maybe it’s not so bad because clearly Ten’s father and Johnny’s mother looked happy with this new family of theirs.

When the other remains silent after a long time, Jaehyun turns to look at him and wonders if he has crossed the line this time.

“They are dead, car accident.” Johnny’s voice betrays no emotion but Jaehyun has seen the way his eyes lose its focus when he said the words.

Suddenly, Jaehyun wishes he never asks.

*

Johnny hands him a glass of orange juice. “I don’t store alcohol in the house,” he says in explanation.

Jaehyun takes it with a smirk and clinks his glass with Johnny’s in amusement.

“This house doesn’t seem to grow old,” he comments after a while. They are currently in the living room of the Seo Mansion, and as he looks around he notes how the room has the same furniture, even the artworks. Even the family portrait still hangs above the fireplace.

It is kind of eerie. Kind of like being transported back to that time he first stepped foot inside the mansion.

Although, he can feel that there is definitely something different in the air. He remembers how this house used to be devoid of any kind of emotions the first time he came here. Now though, standing once again in this expansive living room, he notices how the walls are filled with warmth that was absent before. But it is a lonely kind of warmth.

“How is he?” Jaehyun asks. It has been two weeks since Ten came back to the Seo Mansion, and almost three weeks since he has been able to stop by and visit.

“I think,” Johnny starts and stops as if contemplating what his next words should be, “he is trying not to drown.”

His words are ambiguous but Jaehyun finds that he can understand what his friend means.

Wordlessly, Johnny takes a book from the table and hands it to him. He looks at it curiously before shifting his curiosity to Johnny.

“I found it in one of his things when he moved back,” Johnny explains without looking at him.

It’s a photography book, and Jaehyun thinks he already knows what this is all about before he can even open one page. But he still flips it open and cannot help but awe at the beautiful pictures of different sunsets taken from different parts of the world.

Johnny starts talking again, “He is drowning and we know that there is only one person that can save him. And that is neither of us.”

Jaehyun hears him and as he continues to flip through the pages he understands why Johnny believes so. He flips back to the start of the book and there on the first page is the answer staring right at him.

*

Ten lightly presses his palm against the white walls of his hospital room and tries to listen to its sounds. He closes his eyes as he burns the memories of it at the back of his mind. These walls have been his safety net. The cocoon that for years sheltered him from the person he used to be — the boy he did not want to remember.

He places his other hand in his chest where his heart is beating in frantic. Ten tries not to think of the bags and boxes filled with his things at the foot of his bed. Calm down, he needs to calm the fuck down.

“Ten,” without looking back he knows that it is Doctor Na. She has been her physician ever since he decided to stay and hide in this place. “Are you excited to go home?”

He tries not to be sarcastic but he cannot help the smirk on his lips, because he is far from being excited. For him, there is nothing exciting about going back to the real world.

Ten is beyond terrified.

Home is a nightmare he never wants to revisit. But he knows that his going back is long overdue. He had always known that he cannot keep running away from the shadows of his past. There are so many loose strings that he had left behind that needs to be fixed.

And he is running out of time.

He turns to his doctor with a smile, a stark contrast to the way he really feels at the moment. “I am,” he tells his doctor who looks satisfied with his answer.

When the doctor leaves him alone again, he looks around and takes in everything in his room. Ten takes a deep breath because now it is time to face the consequences.

***

In the first page of the book it reads—

_My Star,  
I am chasing all the sunsets for you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we will be meeting the next major character in the next chapter  
> any bets?
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/summerpinksky)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/summerpinksky)


	7. Act I, Scene 7: The Flight Back

Kun leans back on the airplane seat. His eyes are closed behind his dark sunglasses while he has his headphones blasting rock music on his ears. He tries to calm himself; tries to ignore the time.

Yet he can still feel the ticking off of the clock on his wrist, every second sticking to his skin and raising his pulse. Without opening his eyes he knows how the last light of the day is bleeding through the small glass window. Unconsciously, his fists curl as he tries not to think of easy smiles, messy black hair, and electric skin.

Kun has traveled taking photographs of sunsets all over the world. The only sunset he hates to watch is in Seoul.

The sunset in Korea bears with it his most painful memories.

*

This is how Kun remembers him: the skin of his back glistening in the soft cascading lights of the slowly setting sun, his hair disheveled and made messier by the subtle wind, lips blowing smoke into the open sky.

Ten looks beautiful in a way that was hard to put into words.

He looks like a heartbreak waiting to happen. He kisses like heartache, too—full of promises Kun knows he’ll never keep.

He knows. But he’s still here, isn’t he? He still let himself fall in love with him as if wanting him wasn’t enough.

He really just went ahead and got himself entangled into the enigma that is Li Yongqin.

*

Kun takes a shaky breath as he finally sets foot in Seoul. He has never imagined he’d ever come back to this godforsaken place again, but here he is now.

He adjusts his sunglasses and almost unconsciously rumples his hair. His left hand is a fist around the straps of his bag, a sorry excuse for an anchor as he can already feel his feet itching to catch another plane to take him away from this place.

With fake confidence, he walks out of the arrival area and into the airport lobby. He stops in his tracks though when he sees someone standing in the lobby clearly waiting for him. Kun should have known — there can be no other reason his editor insists he comes back, if not for someone as powerful as the man now walking towards him.

“I suppose you remember me, Qian Kun?”

His fist tightens around the straps of his bags as he tries not to combust, for who can ever forget the face of the one Jung Jaehyun.

*

He steps into the balcony in just his boxers, heart beating wildly in his chest as he calls out to Ten. “Hey, what are you doing? It’s cold out here. Come back inside.”

Ten turns to him with that sly smile of his. He blows out the smoke and crushes the cigarette on the ashtray Kun specifically put in there for him without breaking eye contact. Kun, on the other hand, doesn’t move as if enthralled and holds his breath for Ten’s next move.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” his voice is lilting as if the thought amuses him. To which Kun just gives him a noncommittal grunt.

“Don’t worry,” he continues, as he picks up his dress shirt on the chair and lazily puts them on. “I’m leaving soon. Jaehyun is coming to pick me up.”

“I see,” his voice doesn’t waver when he replies because he almost expected this. He shrugs and hopes that he conveys it with enough nonchalance despite the clenching in his gut. “Well then, I’m going back to sleep. Make sure to lock the door when you leave.”

And with that, he walks back inside and back to his bed. He’s way too wide awake now to really go back to sleep, but there’s no way he can hide his heartbreak if he continues to stare after Ten like a lovesick puppy. So he gets under the covers again, closes his eyes, and listens to the soft footfalls across the floor.

He had always known that Ten can be cruel. He told himself to never get his hopes up. And yet, he still wanted for Ten to choose him.

He hears the front door open and close, the lock clicking in place. He can’t see it from where he’s burrowing under his covers but he can imagine Jaehyun smiling at Ten as he settles on the passenger seat of his car; both of them sharing a laugh before driving away.

Ten is cruel and heartless.

And yet, Kun still wants to be chosen by him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we finally meet him. 
> 
> (I decided to post this even though I didn't feel 100% content with it. I just had to post it regardless because I feel like I won't be able to move on and write the rest of the story unless I do. Anyways. Tags updated!)
> 
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> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/summerpinksky)


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